We all get down on ourselves at times when we make a bad mistake. Is it helpful, or hurtful to emotionally beat ourselves up? Please consider …
Beating yourself up keeps you the same.
When this thought first occurred to me, I was teaching a corporate group to replace destructive thoughts with constructive thoughts. A lovely young lady stood up and said, “I want to lose weight, so I stand naked in front of the mirror every day and say, ‘You are ugly and fat.’”
It took a moment to collect myself. Her poignant, straightforward admission to self-berating in this corporate setting surprised everyone. When the silence grew deafening, I knew I had to say something … so I asked, “Has that helped you?” Looking surprised, she sunk back into her chair and said “No.” That was when I realized … beating yourself up keeps you the same.
She used all her energy to say awful, destructive things to herself, and she didn’t put any energy into improving or changing herself. Once she felt fully punished, she returned to her normal habits.
Consider this: When you make a mistake, don’t focus on the mistake. Create an image of what you would like to do, how to do it and how to get better at it. Athletes correct mistakes in their mind by imagining performing correctly. If you do this and keep replaying the correct image, you are training your brain to perform correctly.
Instead of beating yourself up, imagine performing your thoughts and actions correctly (over and over and over again) — training your brain and body to do what you would like to do and how to do it the next time.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Get comfortable being uncomfortable
If you want to improve your life, athletic performance, leadership or sales please consider…
Get comfortable being uncomfortable ...
If you are always comfortable, you are probably stagnant. Your comfort zone is where you are competent and use to being. Your comfort zone is where you get your current results. If you want different results, new or better results, you have to get out of your comfort zone and do something different.
Would it make sense for an athlete to be comfortable while strength training? Of course not! How do you get stronger unless you work your muscles until they begin to hurt?
This week, what if you did something out of your comfort zone … it will take courage … you will experience both excitement and fear. You will feel very alive. What if you did something out of your comfort zone every week … how big would your comfort zone become? Pretty soon, those things you did that use to be courageous acts, are now in your comfort zone and you are confident doing them. Remember your firsts, first kiss, first big win, first sale, first mortgage. How did your feel with these experiences?
When I was teaching my daughter to cross country ski, she proudly said, “Daddy, I haven’t fallen” (she had walked on her skies about 10 feet in 10 minutes). I said, “I’m sorry, I need to teach you how to go faster, it’s much more fun and you will fall once in a while learning, and that’s a good thing.” So, I taught her how to go faster and she fell many times that day, but ended up cruising along on her skis having a blast by the end of the day.
Personally, being outside of my comfort zone is where I feel most alive and energized … please consider, “Get comfortable being uncomfortable”.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
www.courageandconfidence.com
Get comfortable being uncomfortable ...
If you are always comfortable, you are probably stagnant. Your comfort zone is where you are competent and use to being. Your comfort zone is where you get your current results. If you want different results, new or better results, you have to get out of your comfort zone and do something different.
Would it make sense for an athlete to be comfortable while strength training? Of course not! How do you get stronger unless you work your muscles until they begin to hurt?
This week, what if you did something out of your comfort zone … it will take courage … you will experience both excitement and fear. You will feel very alive. What if you did something out of your comfort zone every week … how big would your comfort zone become? Pretty soon, those things you did that use to be courageous acts, are now in your comfort zone and you are confident doing them. Remember your firsts, first kiss, first big win, first sale, first mortgage. How did your feel with these experiences?
When I was teaching my daughter to cross country ski, she proudly said, “Daddy, I haven’t fallen” (she had walked on her skies about 10 feet in 10 minutes). I said, “I’m sorry, I need to teach you how to go faster, it’s much more fun and you will fall once in a while learning, and that’s a good thing.” So, I taught her how to go faster and she fell many times that day, but ended up cruising along on her skis having a blast by the end of the day.
Personally, being outside of my comfort zone is where I feel most alive and energized … please consider, “Get comfortable being uncomfortable”.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
www.courageandconfidence.com
Monday, October 15, 2007
The starting point of change
If your want more courage, confidence and success, begin by accepting full responsibility for your life, just as it is, no excuses, no finger pointing, no complaining. With acceptance as your starting point, you can improve your life.
This acceptance of what is frees your energy to improve your life. Your brain is like a computer with different operating systems competing to take control the computing system. You have a confident neuronetwork (operating system) and a fearful neuronetwork (operating system). To be more confident, especially under pressure, strengthen your confident neuronetwork and weaken your fearful one.
There are specific brain training techniques that will help you strengthen your confidence and weaken your fears. One world-class athlete who had a very strong fearful neuronetwork, got so anxious at a world championship he almost committed suicide.
The next year, after working on strengthening his confident and weakening his fearful neuronetwork, he competed very successfully at the world championships.
The beginning of improving your life, is beginning with full-responsibility and acceptance of it now.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
This acceptance of what is frees your energy to improve your life. Your brain is like a computer with different operating systems competing to take control the computing system. You have a confident neuronetwork (operating system) and a fearful neuronetwork (operating system). To be more confident, especially under pressure, strengthen your confident neuronetwork and weaken your fearful one.
There are specific brain training techniques that will help you strengthen your confidence and weaken your fears. One world-class athlete who had a very strong fearful neuronetwork, got so anxious at a world championship he almost committed suicide.
The next year, after working on strengthening his confident and weakening his fearful neuronetwork, he competed very successfully at the world championships.
The beginning of improving your life, is beginning with full-responsibility and acceptance of it now.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
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