Your past is history.
Your future depends on how you live in the present.
The present is where your personal power is strongest.
Imagine you're a professional football running back. The quarterback gives you the handoff to run straight ahead. Your heart is racing as the defensive players zero in on you. You begin wondering, Will I get hurt? There are 11 fast, strong giants who get paid to hit me as hard as they can...
Will this fearful thought make you hesitate? If you hesitate after getting the handoff, what's your chance of having a successful play? Much less. What's your chance of being injured? Much greater.
For over 20 years, I have collected information from thousands of people on the characteristics of being their best. All groups (entrepreneurs, executives, sales professionals and athletes) state that being in the flow state - the state during which each of us is at our best - includes being relaxed, confident and in the present.
Fearing the future takes you out of the present, because you're thinking about the future. A running back has his best chance at a successful run by being relaxed, confident and completely present.
Are you in the flow state?
What would you be like if you lived each
moment relaxed, confident and in the present?
"One instant is eternity; eternity is the now.
When you see through this one instant,
you see through the one who sees."
- Wu-Men (1183-1260)
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Showing posts with label Build Confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Build Confidence. Show all posts
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
- Anais Nin
You're probably not confident when you have little or no experience with something, so you need courage. During graduate school, I accepted my first public speaking engagement. It was about two months away, and for those two months the thought of presenting twisted my stomach into knots and I often felt like vomiting. Most people don't realize this, but I am shy and introverted. In grade school, I never raised my hand because I was afraid of being wrong and embarrassed. So when I delivered my first presentation, I was so scared that I read my handwritten script word-for-word from a pad of yellow paper - while sitting and shaking.
This first presentation may sound like a disaster, but it was actually quite glorious. Why? Because I learned that I wouldn't die speaking to a group of people! This was a huge victory because I had the courage to go face to face with one of my greatest fears (public speaking), and as Anais Nin said above, this experience expanded my life. I have now delivered over 400 public presentations and have gained more confidence with each one. Today, I love empowering audiences with courage and confidence knowledge.
When you need courage, access your courageous self. Here are the four steps:
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Remember a time when you acted with courage and had a positive outcome.
Notice how you feel as you do this; you are now in your courageous self.
While in your courageous self, imagine doing something that is scary to you. See, hear and feel yourself as best you can, courageously going for what you want.
This process programs your brain to be courageous and helps you gain confidence in doing what you imagined. The more you do this, the stronger your courage and confidence become.
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
- Anais Nin
You're probably not confident when you have little or no experience with something, so you need courage. During graduate school, I accepted my first public speaking engagement. It was about two months away, and for those two months the thought of presenting twisted my stomach into knots and I often felt like vomiting. Most people don't realize this, but I am shy and introverted. In grade school, I never raised my hand because I was afraid of being wrong and embarrassed. So when I delivered my first presentation, I was so scared that I read my handwritten script word-for-word from a pad of yellow paper - while sitting and shaking.
This first presentation may sound like a disaster, but it was actually quite glorious. Why? Because I learned that I wouldn't die speaking to a group of people! This was a huge victory because I had the courage to go face to face with one of my greatest fears (public speaking), and as Anais Nin said above, this experience expanded my life. I have now delivered over 400 public presentations and have gained more confidence with each one. Today, I love empowering audiences with courage and confidence knowledge.
When you need courage, access your courageous self. Here are the four steps:
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Remember a time when you acted with courage and had a positive outcome.
Notice how you feel as you do this; you are now in your courageous self.
While in your courageous self, imagine doing something that is scary to you. See, hear and feel yourself as best you can, courageously going for what you want.
This process programs your brain to be courageous and helps you gain confidence in doing what you imagined. The more you do this, the stronger your courage and confidence become.
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Monday, November 5, 2007
Replace Destructive Thoughts
“The longer we dwell on our misfortunes,
the greater is their power to harm us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What’s 2 + 2? Easy, it’s 4.
What’s 63 + 75? Boy, are you slow … (kidding). It’s 138. Much harder, eh?
Why do you easily know what 2 + 2 is, but not 63 + 75? Because of repetition. The more times you repeat something, the stronger that neuronetwork (group of nerves) becomes in your brain. The brain is a lot like a muscle — the more you work it, the stronger it gets. So if you keep focusing on a destructive thought, you will make the destructive thought a more powerful, dominant part of your brain.
Consider a four-step process to stop and replace your destructive thoughts. Clients say this simple, yet powerful, technique has had incredible long-term impact helping them overcoming negative thoughts and become more positive and confident. One recent coaching participant said, “It changed my default thinking from negative to positive!”
Replace Destructive Thoughts With Constructive Thoughts
1) Recognize the destructive thought.
2) STOP the destructive thought.
3) Replace the destructive thought with a constructive, true thought.
4) Feel good about taking control of one of the only things you can have 100% direct control of in your life ... your thoughts.
You will have to stop and replace destructive thoughts often, maybe hundreds of times before the replacement thought becomes your dominant thought. Keep working it — it will get stronger.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
the greater is their power to harm us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What’s 2 + 2? Easy, it’s 4.
What’s 63 + 75? Boy, are you slow … (kidding). It’s 138. Much harder, eh?
Why do you easily know what 2 + 2 is, but not 63 + 75? Because of repetition. The more times you repeat something, the stronger that neuronetwork (group of nerves) becomes in your brain. The brain is a lot like a muscle — the more you work it, the stronger it gets. So if you keep focusing on a destructive thought, you will make the destructive thought a more powerful, dominant part of your brain.
Consider a four-step process to stop and replace your destructive thoughts. Clients say this simple, yet powerful, technique has had incredible long-term impact helping them overcoming negative thoughts and become more positive and confident. One recent coaching participant said, “It changed my default thinking from negative to positive!”
Replace Destructive Thoughts With Constructive Thoughts
1) Recognize the destructive thought.
2) STOP the destructive thought.
3) Replace the destructive thought with a constructive, true thought.
4) Feel good about taking control of one of the only things you can have 100% direct control of in your life ... your thoughts.
You will have to stop and replace destructive thoughts often, maybe hundreds of times before the replacement thought becomes your dominant thought. Keep working it — it will get stronger.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Beating yourself up keeps you the same
We all get down on ourselves at times when we make a bad mistake. Is it helpful, or hurtful to emotionally beat ourselves up? Please consider …
Beating yourself up keeps you the same.
When this thought first occurred to me, I was teaching a corporate group to replace destructive thoughts with constructive thoughts. A lovely young lady stood up and said, “I want to lose weight, so I stand naked in front of the mirror every day and say, ‘You are ugly and fat.’”
It took a moment to collect myself. Her poignant, straightforward admission to self-berating in this corporate setting surprised everyone. When the silence grew deafening, I knew I had to say something … so I asked, “Has that helped you?” Looking surprised, she sunk back into her chair and said “No.” That was when I realized … beating yourself up keeps you the same.
She used all her energy to say awful, destructive things to herself, and she didn’t put any energy into improving or changing herself. Once she felt fully punished, she returned to her normal habits.
Consider this: When you make a mistake, don’t focus on the mistake. Create an image of what you would like to do, how to do it and how to get better at it. Athletes correct mistakes in their mind by imagining performing correctly. If you do this and keep replaying the correct image, you are training your brain to perform correctly.
Instead of beating yourself up, imagine performing your thoughts and actions correctly (over and over and over again) — training your brain and body to do what you would like to do and how to do it the next time.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Beating yourself up keeps you the same.
When this thought first occurred to me, I was teaching a corporate group to replace destructive thoughts with constructive thoughts. A lovely young lady stood up and said, “I want to lose weight, so I stand naked in front of the mirror every day and say, ‘You are ugly and fat.’”
It took a moment to collect myself. Her poignant, straightforward admission to self-berating in this corporate setting surprised everyone. When the silence grew deafening, I knew I had to say something … so I asked, “Has that helped you?” Looking surprised, she sunk back into her chair and said “No.” That was when I realized … beating yourself up keeps you the same.
She used all her energy to say awful, destructive things to herself, and she didn’t put any energy into improving or changing herself. Once she felt fully punished, she returned to her normal habits.
Consider this: When you make a mistake, don’t focus on the mistake. Create an image of what you would like to do, how to do it and how to get better at it. Athletes correct mistakes in their mind by imagining performing correctly. If you do this and keep replaying the correct image, you are training your brain to perform correctly.
Instead of beating yourself up, imagine performing your thoughts and actions correctly (over and over and over again) — training your brain and body to do what you would like to do and how to do it the next time.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
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