Life on the Farm

Victims Blame;
High Performers Accept Responsibility

Jan, a highly successful entrepreneur, endured tremendous hardships throughout life, including both of her parents dying before she was 6 years old. Later, in corporate America, she hit her head on the glass ceiling early — being a woman without a college degree. So Jan started her own business, building it to 40 employees. Things were going well until adversity struck again: When her company exposed a Fortune 500 company for not paying commissions and wanting to cover it up, this company attacked and destroyed Jan’s company.

Never the victim, Jan rebuilt her company to 70 employees, this time offering different services. But years later she again faced adversity — she caught her CFO embezzling and the police caught him flashing. Then her chief technology officer turned out to be a feared rapist. Regarding all her adversity, Jan said: “TC, you can’t make this s*it up.”

When I asked Jan how she stayed positive and kept going forward, she told me this story: “When my parents died, I was adopted by my mother’s best friend and her husband, who were farmers. I remember standing with my adopted dad watching a hail storm completely destroy our corn crop, which was about 4 inches high. When the storm was over, my dad just walked along the rows of destroyed corn and said, ‘I guess we’ll have to replant.’ I just live my life the way I learned on the farm.”

Neither Jan nor her father ever felt victimized; they took responsibility for creating positive outcomes. They didn’t waste their energy blaming; they took positive action … and replanted when necessary.

“The evasion of responsibility
is the major cause of most people’s frustrations and defeats.”

–Ayn Rand, author, philosopher

- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert

My negative world ...

"The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts ... .
The content of your character is your choice."
Heraclitus

This is the second EnCOURAGEment on defining moments (a time when you made a life-changing decision). This week, let's examine defining moments when you had the choice to stay the same, or become more of who you want to be.

I am generally a very positive and happy person, but this wasn't always true. In my twenties, a girlfriend broke up with me by saying, "I can't live in your world of negativity anymore." As I reflected on her statement, there was a painful realization that she was right. I had a choice: Do I continue on as I was, or do I have the courage to become a more positive person? I chose the latter. I even took a humor workshop to learn to laugh because I laughed so little that it was uncomfortable! I will always be thankful for my ex-girlfriend. She gave me a defining moment, a gift. Almost 30 years later, I am a positive person, laugh a lot and ... I work daily to be more positive.

Would you like to be different in some way? If yes ...

Have the courage to be honest with yourself, review your defining moments.
If your previous choice(s) is not helping you be who you want to be,
be courageous, make a new decision ...
then work every day to become who you want to be.

- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert