A Sage ... in Mechanic's Clothes
Many of my life's lessons have come from obscure sources, such as my incredible self-acceptance lesson from a pants salesman. But that's for a different EnCOURAGEment. This one's about a sage in mechanic's clothes who taught me how to solve life's problems.
When I was 16, I worked for the summer as a laborer at an automobile dealership. Each day I ate lunch with the car mechanics. I always sat next to a certain wise old mechanic with a wisdom that drew me to him, like steel to a magnet. One day, while eating a peanut butter sandwich, he taught me how he approached problems.
He said, "Most people make things more difficult than they are. Here's how I approach a car that's not working. First, I see if there's gas in the gas tank. If there is, I see if the battery cables are on and tight. If they are, I see if the battery is working. These three simple steps help me solve 30% of problems. Always solve problems at the simplest level possible."
His philosophy was simple yet profoundly sophisticated, like the Dalai Lama's. I have followed his sage advice for 39 years - solving problems by progressing from the simplest to the most complex possible solution. My work sometimes requires an intricate solution, but like the sage mechanic, I solve a great percentage of challenges with a simple solution. ... Which reminds me of my favorite saying from the '60s:
"You're either part of the solution
or you're part of the problem."
- Eldridge Cleaver
- TC North, Ph.D., Success Coach
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Harry Truman's Decision Making
“Definiteness of decision always requires courage,
sometimes very great courage.”
“Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill
Do you make great decisions under pressure? Great football quarterbacks, such as Tom Brady, quickly read a defense and decide which receiver to throw to. Great salespeople, such as Sara Quick, land the largest new accounts by being creative — like selling to businesses their companies usually don’t serve. Great leaders, such as Harry Truman, the 33rd president of the United States, make decisions that affect the lives of innumerable people, such as dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to end World War II.
Napoleon Hill studied over 25,000 people who had experienced failure and concluded that lack of decision-making was one of the top causes of failure. To make great decisions, consider Harry Truman’s three-step decision-making process:
1. The logical decision. Gather the best information from people who know the most about the subject. Make a pro and con list and determine your logical decision.
2. The emotional decision. Search your heart for your emotional decision. Truman’s emotional decision was to not drop the bomb; he hated the idea.
3. The intuitive decision. Take time away to quiet your thoughts and emotions. Then pay attention to your intuition. You may find your intuitive message in the pit of your stomach, like Harry Truman did, or it could be a quiet sense of knowing. Intuitive messages are different for everyone.
It takes courage to make the tough decisions;
a good decision-making process will give you
more confidence in your decisions.
sometimes very great courage.”
“Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill
Do you make great decisions under pressure? Great football quarterbacks, such as Tom Brady, quickly read a defense and decide which receiver to throw to. Great salespeople, such as Sara Quick, land the largest new accounts by being creative — like selling to businesses their companies usually don’t serve. Great leaders, such as Harry Truman, the 33rd president of the United States, make decisions that affect the lives of innumerable people, such as dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to end World War II.
Napoleon Hill studied over 25,000 people who had experienced failure and concluded that lack of decision-making was one of the top causes of failure. To make great decisions, consider Harry Truman’s three-step decision-making process:
1. The logical decision. Gather the best information from people who know the most about the subject. Make a pro and con list and determine your logical decision.
2. The emotional decision. Search your heart for your emotional decision. Truman’s emotional decision was to not drop the bomb; he hated the idea.
3. The intuitive decision. Take time away to quiet your thoughts and emotions. Then pay attention to your intuition. You may find your intuitive message in the pit of your stomach, like Harry Truman did, or it could be a quiet sense of knowing. Intuitive messages are different for everyone.
It takes courage to make the tough decisions;
a good decision-making process will give you
more confidence in your decisions.
110% Effort May Lead to Failure
Giving 110% under pressure
often results in failure.
“She looks like she is wrestling an alligator,” said the mother of an extraordinarily talented 16-year-old swimmer during a swim meet. During practice, this incredible athlete was swimming times that would qualify her for senior national competitions. But in competition, she couldn’t even swim a junior national qualifying time, which is a much slower time. So why was she faster in practice than in competition? Because in practice, she relaxed and swam efficiently. But in competition, she tried too hard, which made her very tense and inefficient — like she was wrestling an alligator.
One former Olympic X-C ski coach always picked a race for his skiers and told them, “Only ski at 90% of race speed.” In these races, his skiers usually had their best times because they stayed relaxed and in the flow state — the state of mind where people are at their best, no matter what they’re doing.
I’ve seen multitudes of athletes, leaders and sales professionals try too hard, resulting in failure. Training, practicing and other parts of your preparation will get you ready. Then, when it’s time for you to perform (be at your best), breathe deeply, relax, be present and trust your preparation. This gives you your best chance to be in the flow state, thus being your best.
“Compete at 90%, not 110%.”
Dan O’Brien, Olympic decathlon gold medal winner
often results in failure.
“She looks like she is wrestling an alligator,” said the mother of an extraordinarily talented 16-year-old swimmer during a swim meet. During practice, this incredible athlete was swimming times that would qualify her for senior national competitions. But in competition, she couldn’t even swim a junior national qualifying time, which is a much slower time. So why was she faster in practice than in competition? Because in practice, she relaxed and swam efficiently. But in competition, she tried too hard, which made her very tense and inefficient — like she was wrestling an alligator.
One former Olympic X-C ski coach always picked a race for his skiers and told them, “Only ski at 90% of race speed.” In these races, his skiers usually had their best times because they stayed relaxed and in the flow state — the state of mind where people are at their best, no matter what they’re doing.
I’ve seen multitudes of athletes, leaders and sales professionals try too hard, resulting in failure. Training, practicing and other parts of your preparation will get you ready. Then, when it’s time for you to perform (be at your best), breathe deeply, relax, be present and trust your preparation. This gives you your best chance to be in the flow state, thus being your best.
“Compete at 90%, not 110%.”
Dan O’Brien, Olympic decathlon gold medal winner
Compliments and Confidence
Everyone wants more confidence,
so why do we block its development?
Strengthening and weakening confidence is very complex, yet there’s one simple way to build it: by accepting compliments.
Hardly anyone fully takes in compliments. I catch myself blocking compliments often, and I teach this stuff. Blocking compliments runs deep in our culture and starts at a really young age.
For example, one day I was driving my 5-year-old daughter Chelsea home from kindergarten and I wanted to give her a compliment. I had been teaching her for some time to receive them when they were given, because I could see that compliments were just bouncing off her little body like rubber balls off concrete.
I said, “Chelsea, I’m going to give you a compliment.” She raised her hand to her heart, closed her thumb and forefingers together and mimicked unzipping a zipper. When I asked what she was doing she said, “Dada, I am opening my heart.” I had a rush of emotion and my eyes welled with tears, but I kept composed.
After I gave her the compliment, she raised her hand to her heart again and made an unzipping motion. When I asked again what she was doing, she said, “Dada, I am zipping my heart back up.” This time, the emotional rush overcame me and tears rolled down my cheeks. At only 5 years old she had already learned to close up and protect herself!
I bet you’ve been through a lot of emotional experiences in your life and you are pretty good at protecting your heart. Next time you receive a compliment, ask yourself, Do I want to block another compliment, or do I want to begin building my confidence by fully taking it in?
Compliments build your courage, confidence, self-esteem
and self-image … if you let them in.
so why do we block its development?
Strengthening and weakening confidence is very complex, yet there’s one simple way to build it: by accepting compliments.
Hardly anyone fully takes in compliments. I catch myself blocking compliments often, and I teach this stuff. Blocking compliments runs deep in our culture and starts at a really young age.
For example, one day I was driving my 5-year-old daughter Chelsea home from kindergarten and I wanted to give her a compliment. I had been teaching her for some time to receive them when they were given, because I could see that compliments were just bouncing off her little body like rubber balls off concrete.
I said, “Chelsea, I’m going to give you a compliment.” She raised her hand to her heart, closed her thumb and forefingers together and mimicked unzipping a zipper. When I asked what she was doing she said, “Dada, I am opening my heart.” I had a rush of emotion and my eyes welled with tears, but I kept composed.
After I gave her the compliment, she raised her hand to her heart again and made an unzipping motion. When I asked again what she was doing, she said, “Dada, I am zipping my heart back up.” This time, the emotional rush overcame me and tears rolled down my cheeks. At only 5 years old she had already learned to close up and protect herself!
I bet you’ve been through a lot of emotional experiences in your life and you are pretty good at protecting your heart. Next time you receive a compliment, ask yourself, Do I want to block another compliment, or do I want to begin building my confidence by fully taking it in?
Compliments build your courage, confidence, self-esteem
and self-image … if you let them in.
Gratitude Increases Sales
Increase your inner peace, happiness and hope …
by living in gratitude.
This is not just Boulder froufrou stuff; there is good research that links gratitude with happiness, contentment, hope and even success.
Gail, a saleswoman, was very frustrated that her sales had plateaued for several years. Even though she was generally a positive person, she said, “I spent a lot time thinking about the sales I didn’t have, how well others were doing and the sales I needed to meet my goals.”
Gail said she “learned about gratitude and began being thankful for the sales I did have, and looking forward to the sales I wanted to get to reach my goals. This was a small, but significant, shift in my thinking, which gave me a more positive attitude. It resulted in attracting people wanting to buy from me, and I then easily reached my goals.”
Gail broke through her plateau not by working harder, or with a new sales technique — she did it simply by being in gratitude. She said, “It’s so simple, it doesn’t seem like being more grateful should increase my sales, but it does. Sales success, like all success, is a mental game.”
It’s best to speak your gratitude out loud;
it’s easy, and the benefits are huge.
by living in gratitude.
This is not just Boulder froufrou stuff; there is good research that links gratitude with happiness, contentment, hope and even success.
Gail, a saleswoman, was very frustrated that her sales had plateaued for several years. Even though she was generally a positive person, she said, “I spent a lot time thinking about the sales I didn’t have, how well others were doing and the sales I needed to meet my goals.”
Gail said she “learned about gratitude and began being thankful for the sales I did have, and looking forward to the sales I wanted to get to reach my goals. This was a small, but significant, shift in my thinking, which gave me a more positive attitude. It resulted in attracting people wanting to buy from me, and I then easily reached my goals.”
Gail broke through her plateau not by working harder, or with a new sales technique — she did it simply by being in gratitude. She said, “It’s so simple, it doesn’t seem like being more grateful should increase my sales, but it does. Sales success, like all success, is a mental game.”
It’s best to speak your gratitude out loud;
it’s easy, and the benefits are huge.
Friday, December 28, 2007
With Self-Discipline Comes Freedom and Success
With Self-Discipline
Comes Freedom … and Success
Discipline gets a bad rap because it’s often thought of as abusive, something to fear. However, there are different types of discipline. There’s abusive discipline (think beaten with a stick) and self-abusive discipline (remember the EnCOURAGEment of the self-berating woman who looked in the mirror everyday and said, “You are fat and ugly!”).
But there’s also self-discipline: doing what you commit to do, when you say you will do it. Self-discipline is critical to make your goals your reality. Some entrepreneurs, salespeople, athletes and network marketers have wonderful goals but not much self-discipline — they don’t become high performers. Goals without self-discipline is a wish list.
Every Olympic athlete, elite entrepreneur and top salesperson I know has very high self-discipline. One former Olympic athlete turned real estate agent was earning about $500,000 a year when he asked me to help him “…clean out anything that is blocking my success.” He was so devoted to this that he committed to driving four hours to my office, working deeply for five hours and then driving home again. That's 13 hours he committed to spend each time we worked together! This man’s self-discipline allowed him to easily create emotional and financial freedom and success.
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.”
— Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker
- TC North, Ph.D. High Performance Expert
Comes Freedom … and Success
Discipline gets a bad rap because it’s often thought of as abusive, something to fear. However, there are different types of discipline. There’s abusive discipline (think beaten with a stick) and self-abusive discipline (remember the EnCOURAGEment of the self-berating woman who looked in the mirror everyday and said, “You are fat and ugly!”).
But there’s also self-discipline: doing what you commit to do, when you say you will do it. Self-discipline is critical to make your goals your reality. Some entrepreneurs, salespeople, athletes and network marketers have wonderful goals but not much self-discipline — they don’t become high performers. Goals without self-discipline is a wish list.
Every Olympic athlete, elite entrepreneur and top salesperson I know has very high self-discipline. One former Olympic athlete turned real estate agent was earning about $500,000 a year when he asked me to help him “…clean out anything that is blocking my success.” He was so devoted to this that he committed to driving four hours to my office, working deeply for five hours and then driving home again. That's 13 hours he committed to spend each time we worked together! This man’s self-discipline allowed him to easily create emotional and financial freedom and success.
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.”
— Jim Rohn, author and motivational speaker
- TC North, Ph.D. High Performance Expert
Life on the Farm
Victims Blame;
High Performers Accept Responsibility
Jan, a highly successful entrepreneur, endured tremendous hardships throughout life, including both of her parents dying before she was 6 years old. Later, in corporate America, she hit her head on the glass ceiling early — being a woman without a college degree. So Jan started her own business, building it to 40 employees. Things were going well until adversity struck again: When her company exposed a Fortune 500 company for not paying commissions and wanting to cover it up, this company attacked and destroyed Jan’s company.
Never the victim, Jan rebuilt her company to 70 employees, this time offering different services. But years later she again faced adversity — she caught her CFO embezzling and the police caught him flashing. Then her chief technology officer turned out to be a feared rapist. Regarding all her adversity, Jan said: “TC, you can’t make this s*it up.”
When I asked Jan how she stayed positive and kept going forward, she told me this story: “When my parents died, I was adopted by my mother’s best friend and her husband, who were farmers. I remember standing with my adopted dad watching a hail storm completely destroy our corn crop, which was about 4 inches high. When the storm was over, my dad just walked along the rows of destroyed corn and said, ‘I guess we’ll have to replant.’ I just live my life the way I learned on the farm.”
Neither Jan nor her father ever felt victimized; they took responsibility for creating positive outcomes. They didn’t waste their energy blaming; they took positive action … and replanted when necessary.
“The evasion of responsibility
is the major cause of most people’s frustrations and defeats.”
–Ayn Rand, author, philosopher
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
High Performers Accept Responsibility
Jan, a highly successful entrepreneur, endured tremendous hardships throughout life, including both of her parents dying before she was 6 years old. Later, in corporate America, she hit her head on the glass ceiling early — being a woman without a college degree. So Jan started her own business, building it to 40 employees. Things were going well until adversity struck again: When her company exposed a Fortune 500 company for not paying commissions and wanting to cover it up, this company attacked and destroyed Jan’s company.
Never the victim, Jan rebuilt her company to 70 employees, this time offering different services. But years later she again faced adversity — she caught her CFO embezzling and the police caught him flashing. Then her chief technology officer turned out to be a feared rapist. Regarding all her adversity, Jan said: “TC, you can’t make this s*it up.”
When I asked Jan how she stayed positive and kept going forward, she told me this story: “When my parents died, I was adopted by my mother’s best friend and her husband, who were farmers. I remember standing with my adopted dad watching a hail storm completely destroy our corn crop, which was about 4 inches high. When the storm was over, my dad just walked along the rows of destroyed corn and said, ‘I guess we’ll have to replant.’ I just live my life the way I learned on the farm.”
Neither Jan nor her father ever felt victimized; they took responsibility for creating positive outcomes. They didn’t waste their energy blaming; they took positive action … and replanted when necessary.
“The evasion of responsibility
is the major cause of most people’s frustrations and defeats.”
–Ayn Rand, author, philosopher
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Friday, December 21, 2007
The Stockdale Paradox
The Stockdale Paradox
Face the most brutal facts of your current reality.
And retain faith that you will prevail in the endgame.
This is Admiral Jim Stockdale's philosophy. He was the highest-ranking U.S. prisoner of war at the "Hanoi Hilton" in Vietnam from 1965 to 1973. As the highest-ranking officer in the prison, he had no rights or release date; he was severely tortured over 20 times and he didn't know if he'd see his wife and children again.
When asked how he survived all those years, he said, "I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade." He noted that soldiers who were optimistic about being out by a certain date (e.g., "I'll be out by Christmas") dropped like flies when it didn't happen. Only those who believed in the endgame kept hope - and themselves - alive.
Admiral Stockdale was a great leader who helped many of his men live through imprisonment. Accepting and analyzing all the facts, including the brutal ones, and having faith in prevailing in the endgame, even when you don't initially know how, are defining characteristics of great entrepreneurs, salespeople and athletes as well as admirals.
Are you focused on the endgame?
The Stockdale Paradox comes from the book "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. The full story is on Pages 83-87.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Face the most brutal facts of your current reality.
And retain faith that you will prevail in the endgame.
This is Admiral Jim Stockdale's philosophy. He was the highest-ranking U.S. prisoner of war at the "Hanoi Hilton" in Vietnam from 1965 to 1973. As the highest-ranking officer in the prison, he had no rights or release date; he was severely tortured over 20 times and he didn't know if he'd see his wife and children again.
When asked how he survived all those years, he said, "I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade." He noted that soldiers who were optimistic about being out by a certain date (e.g., "I'll be out by Christmas") dropped like flies when it didn't happen. Only those who believed in the endgame kept hope - and themselves - alive.
Admiral Stockdale was a great leader who helped many of his men live through imprisonment. Accepting and analyzing all the facts, including the brutal ones, and having faith in prevailing in the endgame, even when you don't initially know how, are defining characteristics of great entrepreneurs, salespeople and athletes as well as admirals.
Are you focused on the endgame?
The Stockdale Paradox comes from the book "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. The full story is on Pages 83-87.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Your past is history.
Your future depends on how you live in the present.
The present is where your personal power is strongest.
Imagine you're a professional football running back. The quarterback gives you the handoff to run straight ahead. Your heart is racing as the defensive players zero in on you. You begin wondering, Will I get hurt? There are 11 fast, strong giants who get paid to hit me as hard as they can...
Will this fearful thought make you hesitate? If you hesitate after getting the handoff, what's your chance of having a successful play? Much less. What's your chance of being injured? Much greater.
For over 20 years, I have collected information from thousands of people on the characteristics of being their best. All groups (entrepreneurs, executives, sales professionals and athletes) state that being in the flow state - the state during which each of us is at our best - includes being relaxed, confident and in the present.
Fearing the future takes you out of the present, because you're thinking about the future. A running back has his best chance at a successful run by being relaxed, confident and completely present.
Are you in the flow state?
What would you be like if you lived each
moment relaxed, confident and in the present?
"One instant is eternity; eternity is the now.
When you see through this one instant,
you see through the one who sees."
- Wu-Men (1183-1260)
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Your future depends on how you live in the present.
The present is where your personal power is strongest.
Imagine you're a professional football running back. The quarterback gives you the handoff to run straight ahead. Your heart is racing as the defensive players zero in on you. You begin wondering, Will I get hurt? There are 11 fast, strong giants who get paid to hit me as hard as they can...
Will this fearful thought make you hesitate? If you hesitate after getting the handoff, what's your chance of having a successful play? Much less. What's your chance of being injured? Much greater.
For over 20 years, I have collected information from thousands of people on the characteristics of being their best. All groups (entrepreneurs, executives, sales professionals and athletes) state that being in the flow state - the state during which each of us is at our best - includes being relaxed, confident and in the present.
Fearing the future takes you out of the present, because you're thinking about the future. A running back has his best chance at a successful run by being relaxed, confident and completely present.
Are you in the flow state?
What would you be like if you lived each
moment relaxed, confident and in the present?
"One instant is eternity; eternity is the now.
When you see through this one instant,
you see through the one who sees."
- Wu-Men (1183-1260)
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
- Anais Nin
You're probably not confident when you have little or no experience with something, so you need courage. During graduate school, I accepted my first public speaking engagement. It was about two months away, and for those two months the thought of presenting twisted my stomach into knots and I often felt like vomiting. Most people don't realize this, but I am shy and introverted. In grade school, I never raised my hand because I was afraid of being wrong and embarrassed. So when I delivered my first presentation, I was so scared that I read my handwritten script word-for-word from a pad of yellow paper - while sitting and shaking.
This first presentation may sound like a disaster, but it was actually quite glorious. Why? Because I learned that I wouldn't die speaking to a group of people! This was a huge victory because I had the courage to go face to face with one of my greatest fears (public speaking), and as Anais Nin said above, this experience expanded my life. I have now delivered over 400 public presentations and have gained more confidence with each one. Today, I love empowering audiences with courage and confidence knowledge.
When you need courage, access your courageous self. Here are the four steps:
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Remember a time when you acted with courage and had a positive outcome.
Notice how you feel as you do this; you are now in your courageous self.
While in your courageous self, imagine doing something that is scary to you. See, hear and feel yourself as best you can, courageously going for what you want.
This process programs your brain to be courageous and helps you gain confidence in doing what you imagined. The more you do this, the stronger your courage and confidence become.
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
- Anais Nin
You're probably not confident when you have little or no experience with something, so you need courage. During graduate school, I accepted my first public speaking engagement. It was about two months away, and for those two months the thought of presenting twisted my stomach into knots and I often felt like vomiting. Most people don't realize this, but I am shy and introverted. In grade school, I never raised my hand because I was afraid of being wrong and embarrassed. So when I delivered my first presentation, I was so scared that I read my handwritten script word-for-word from a pad of yellow paper - while sitting and shaking.
This first presentation may sound like a disaster, but it was actually quite glorious. Why? Because I learned that I wouldn't die speaking to a group of people! This was a huge victory because I had the courage to go face to face with one of my greatest fears (public speaking), and as Anais Nin said above, this experience expanded my life. I have now delivered over 400 public presentations and have gained more confidence with each one. Today, I love empowering audiences with courage and confidence knowledge.
When you need courage, access your courageous self. Here are the four steps:
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Remember a time when you acted with courage and had a positive outcome.
Notice how you feel as you do this; you are now in your courageous self.
While in your courageous self, imagine doing something that is scary to you. See, hear and feel yourself as best you can, courageously going for what you want.
This process programs your brain to be courageous and helps you gain confidence in doing what you imagined. The more you do this, the stronger your courage and confidence become.
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Fire (Passion) is Your Fuel for Success
Your Fire Is Your Fuel
Last week’s EnCOURAGEment was about Ingrid, an entrepreneur who found her fire and focus and was unstoppable in creating a successful company. Here’s another story about how strong fire can be, even for a child.
A few summers ago, my 11-year old daughter, Chelsea, and I were boogie boarding, which was her favorite thing in the whole world. The waves were fairly big, so I was helping by pushing her up on them. She was having a blast, catching wave after wave. But as she rode the waves to shore, I could see the front of her board going back and forth.
When we dragged our exhausted bodies to the beach, I asked, “Chelsea, why was the front of your board going back and forth on your way to shore?” She said, “Because, Daddy, every time you pushed me, you were pushing my bathing suit up and giving me a wedgie up to my neck. So I was pulling out the wedgie!” When I asked her why she didn’t tell me, she said, “Because I didn’t want you to stop pushing me.”
Now that’s fire! Nothing, including a wedgie up to her neck, would stop that girl from boogie boarding.
Your fire is your fuel. Are you doing things you love so much that you’d put up with a wedgie to do them?
“There is no passion to be found playing small
in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
— Nelson Mandela
Last week’s EnCOURAGEment was about Ingrid, an entrepreneur who found her fire and focus and was unstoppable in creating a successful company. Here’s another story about how strong fire can be, even for a child.
A few summers ago, my 11-year old daughter, Chelsea, and I were boogie boarding, which was her favorite thing in the whole world. The waves were fairly big, so I was helping by pushing her up on them. She was having a blast, catching wave after wave. But as she rode the waves to shore, I could see the front of her board going back and forth.
When we dragged our exhausted bodies to the beach, I asked, “Chelsea, why was the front of your board going back and forth on your way to shore?” She said, “Because, Daddy, every time you pushed me, you were pushing my bathing suit up and giving me a wedgie up to my neck. So I was pulling out the wedgie!” When I asked her why she didn’t tell me, she said, “Because I didn’t want you to stop pushing me.”
Now that’s fire! Nothing, including a wedgie up to her neck, would stop that girl from boogie boarding.
Your fire is your fuel. Are you doing things you love so much that you’d put up with a wedgie to do them?
“There is no passion to be found playing small
in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
— Nelson Mandela
Be Unstoppable
Fire + Focus = Unstoppable
Here’s a story about one of the best small entrepreneurs I know; let’s call her Ingrid. Ingrid was a teacher and a single mom who had no training in business or interior design. Her friends owned a small interior design firm, so Ingrid asked to work for them because she had fire (passion) to become an interior designer. The company was struggling financially, so she volunteered to be the receptionist and learn interior design (she had the courage to focus on what she loved).
Because of her fire and focus, she learned interior design quickly and soon became a paid designer. Within a few years, she had become a talented, confident designer and purchased the struggling company from her friends. Over the next 20+ years, her firm became one of the premier interior design firms in the world (in its niche). Ingrid is now very confident, and her success has been Unstoppable because of her Fire + Focus.
Find your Fire and then Focus on it … and you will be Unstoppable.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Here’s a story about one of the best small entrepreneurs I know; let’s call her Ingrid. Ingrid was a teacher and a single mom who had no training in business or interior design. Her friends owned a small interior design firm, so Ingrid asked to work for them because she had fire (passion) to become an interior designer. The company was struggling financially, so she volunteered to be the receptionist and learn interior design (she had the courage to focus on what she loved).
Because of her fire and focus, she learned interior design quickly and soon became a paid designer. Within a few years, she had become a talented, confident designer and purchased the struggling company from her friends. Over the next 20+ years, her firm became one of the premier interior design firms in the world (in its niche). Ingrid is now very confident, and her success has been Unstoppable because of her Fire + Focus.
Find your Fire and then Focus on it … and you will be Unstoppable.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
My negative world ...
"The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts ... .
The content of your character is your choice."
Heraclitus
This is the second EnCOURAGEment on defining moments (a time when you made a life-changing decision). This week, let's examine defining moments when you had the choice to stay the same, or become more of who you want to be.
I am generally a very positive and happy person, but this wasn't always true. In my twenties, a girlfriend broke up with me by saying, "I can't live in your world of negativity anymore." As I reflected on her statement, there was a painful realization that she was right. I had a choice: Do I continue on as I was, or do I have the courage to become a more positive person? I chose the latter. I even took a humor workshop to learn to laugh because I laughed so little that it was uncomfortable! I will always be thankful for my ex-girlfriend. She gave me a defining moment, a gift. Almost 30 years later, I am a positive person, laugh a lot and ... I work daily to be more positive.
Would you like to be different in some way? If yes ...
Have the courage to be honest with yourself, review your defining moments.
If your previous choice(s) is not helping you be who you want to be,
be courageous, make a new decision ...
then work every day to become who you want to be.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
The content of your character is your choice."
Heraclitus
This is the second EnCOURAGEment on defining moments (a time when you made a life-changing decision). This week, let's examine defining moments when you had the choice to stay the same, or become more of who you want to be.
I am generally a very positive and happy person, but this wasn't always true. In my twenties, a girlfriend broke up with me by saying, "I can't live in your world of negativity anymore." As I reflected on her statement, there was a painful realization that she was right. I had a choice: Do I continue on as I was, or do I have the courage to become a more positive person? I chose the latter. I even took a humor workshop to learn to laugh because I laughed so little that it was uncomfortable! I will always be thankful for my ex-girlfriend. She gave me a defining moment, a gift. Almost 30 years later, I am a positive person, laugh a lot and ... I work daily to be more positive.
Would you like to be different in some way? If yes ...
Have the courage to be honest with yourself, review your defining moments.
If your previous choice(s) is not helping you be who you want to be,
be courageous, make a new decision ...
then work every day to become who you want to be.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Courage to be Who You Are!
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
E.E. Cummings
We’ve all had defining moments in life (a time when we made a life-changing decision). This and the next EnCOURAGEment message examine two types of defining moments. This week’s is having the courage to become who you really are, and next week’s is having the courage to become more of who you want to be.
In the small town where I grew up, most guys hunted. When I was about 12 years old, I was walking in the woods mindlessly shooting chipmunks with my BB gun when a bird began chirping really loudly at me. I walked closer, thinking the bird would fly away. But it sat on a branch and chirped more loudly. I thought, If you are dumb enough to stay there and chirp at me, I’m gonna shoot you. I raised my gun, it chirped, aimed, it chirped, squeezed the trigger … the bird dropped straight from the tree and hit the ground with a thud.
As I looked at it lying motionless and silent, I thought, That’ll teach you! Then, I heard the faint sounds of baby birds coming from the nest, where the bird had been. When I realized I had killed a parent protecting its babies, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I decided then that I would never shoot another gun or hurt another animal — and I haven’t. This was a defining moment for me. All my friends had guns and shot animals, which made me an outcast at times. It took courage to be different, but it was who I really am. I am an animal lover, and I have never regretted the decision to never hurt an animal again!
Defining moments … are the life-changing decisions you have made.
Are yours really who you are in your deepest self?
E.E. Cummings
We’ve all had defining moments in life (a time when we made a life-changing decision). This and the next EnCOURAGEment message examine two types of defining moments. This week’s is having the courage to become who you really are, and next week’s is having the courage to become more of who you want to be.
In the small town where I grew up, most guys hunted. When I was about 12 years old, I was walking in the woods mindlessly shooting chipmunks with my BB gun when a bird began chirping really loudly at me. I walked closer, thinking the bird would fly away. But it sat on a branch and chirped more loudly. I thought, If you are dumb enough to stay there and chirp at me, I’m gonna shoot you. I raised my gun, it chirped, aimed, it chirped, squeezed the trigger … the bird dropped straight from the tree and hit the ground with a thud.
As I looked at it lying motionless and silent, I thought, That’ll teach you! Then, I heard the faint sounds of baby birds coming from the nest, where the bird had been. When I realized I had killed a parent protecting its babies, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I decided then that I would never shoot another gun or hurt another animal — and I haven’t. This was a defining moment for me. All my friends had guns and shot animals, which made me an outcast at times. It took courage to be different, but it was who I really am. I am an animal lover, and I have never regretted the decision to never hurt an animal again!
Defining moments … are the life-changing decisions you have made.
Are yours really who you are in your deepest self?
Monday, November 5, 2007
Replace Destructive Thoughts
“The longer we dwell on our misfortunes,
the greater is their power to harm us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What’s 2 + 2? Easy, it’s 4.
What’s 63 + 75? Boy, are you slow … (kidding). It’s 138. Much harder, eh?
Why do you easily know what 2 + 2 is, but not 63 + 75? Because of repetition. The more times you repeat something, the stronger that neuronetwork (group of nerves) becomes in your brain. The brain is a lot like a muscle — the more you work it, the stronger it gets. So if you keep focusing on a destructive thought, you will make the destructive thought a more powerful, dominant part of your brain.
Consider a four-step process to stop and replace your destructive thoughts. Clients say this simple, yet powerful, technique has had incredible long-term impact helping them overcoming negative thoughts and become more positive and confident. One recent coaching participant said, “It changed my default thinking from negative to positive!”
Replace Destructive Thoughts With Constructive Thoughts
1) Recognize the destructive thought.
2) STOP the destructive thought.
3) Replace the destructive thought with a constructive, true thought.
4) Feel good about taking control of one of the only things you can have 100% direct control of in your life ... your thoughts.
You will have to stop and replace destructive thoughts often, maybe hundreds of times before the replacement thought becomes your dominant thought. Keep working it — it will get stronger.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
the greater is their power to harm us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What’s 2 + 2? Easy, it’s 4.
What’s 63 + 75? Boy, are you slow … (kidding). It’s 138. Much harder, eh?
Why do you easily know what 2 + 2 is, but not 63 + 75? Because of repetition. The more times you repeat something, the stronger that neuronetwork (group of nerves) becomes in your brain. The brain is a lot like a muscle — the more you work it, the stronger it gets. So if you keep focusing on a destructive thought, you will make the destructive thought a more powerful, dominant part of your brain.
Consider a four-step process to stop and replace your destructive thoughts. Clients say this simple, yet powerful, technique has had incredible long-term impact helping them overcoming negative thoughts and become more positive and confident. One recent coaching participant said, “It changed my default thinking from negative to positive!”
Replace Destructive Thoughts With Constructive Thoughts
1) Recognize the destructive thought.
2) STOP the destructive thought.
3) Replace the destructive thought with a constructive, true thought.
4) Feel good about taking control of one of the only things you can have 100% direct control of in your life ... your thoughts.
You will have to stop and replace destructive thoughts often, maybe hundreds of times before the replacement thought becomes your dominant thought. Keep working it — it will get stronger.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Boldness has genius, power and magic
“Boldness has genius, power and magic.”
Goethe
Elite performers including entrepreneurs, sales professionals and athletes all have an element of boldness. For example, the destitute orphan, who didn’t even have a pair of shoes who promised himself, “I will become a world champion, move out of this country and never live in poverty again.” A bold statement for an impoverished, uneducated child. But he developed his raw talent and became a world champion in an endurance sport. He also attended college and has become a very successful businessman.
You too have genius in you … we all do, you must find it.
What bold thought or action might be genius in your life?
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Goethe
Elite performers including entrepreneurs, sales professionals and athletes all have an element of boldness. For example, the destitute orphan, who didn’t even have a pair of shoes who promised himself, “I will become a world champion, move out of this country and never live in poverty again.” A bold statement for an impoverished, uneducated child. But he developed his raw talent and became a world champion in an endurance sport. He also attended college and has become a very successful businessman.
You too have genius in you … we all do, you must find it.
What bold thought or action might be genius in your life?
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Beating yourself up keeps you the same
We all get down on ourselves at times when we make a bad mistake. Is it helpful, or hurtful to emotionally beat ourselves up? Please consider …
Beating yourself up keeps you the same.
When this thought first occurred to me, I was teaching a corporate group to replace destructive thoughts with constructive thoughts. A lovely young lady stood up and said, “I want to lose weight, so I stand naked in front of the mirror every day and say, ‘You are ugly and fat.’”
It took a moment to collect myself. Her poignant, straightforward admission to self-berating in this corporate setting surprised everyone. When the silence grew deafening, I knew I had to say something … so I asked, “Has that helped you?” Looking surprised, she sunk back into her chair and said “No.” That was when I realized … beating yourself up keeps you the same.
She used all her energy to say awful, destructive things to herself, and she didn’t put any energy into improving or changing herself. Once she felt fully punished, she returned to her normal habits.
Consider this: When you make a mistake, don’t focus on the mistake. Create an image of what you would like to do, how to do it and how to get better at it. Athletes correct mistakes in their mind by imagining performing correctly. If you do this and keep replaying the correct image, you are training your brain to perform correctly.
Instead of beating yourself up, imagine performing your thoughts and actions correctly (over and over and over again) — training your brain and body to do what you would like to do and how to do it the next time.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Beating yourself up keeps you the same.
When this thought first occurred to me, I was teaching a corporate group to replace destructive thoughts with constructive thoughts. A lovely young lady stood up and said, “I want to lose weight, so I stand naked in front of the mirror every day and say, ‘You are ugly and fat.’”
It took a moment to collect myself. Her poignant, straightforward admission to self-berating in this corporate setting surprised everyone. When the silence grew deafening, I knew I had to say something … so I asked, “Has that helped you?” Looking surprised, she sunk back into her chair and said “No.” That was when I realized … beating yourself up keeps you the same.
She used all her energy to say awful, destructive things to herself, and she didn’t put any energy into improving or changing herself. Once she felt fully punished, she returned to her normal habits.
Consider this: When you make a mistake, don’t focus on the mistake. Create an image of what you would like to do, how to do it and how to get better at it. Athletes correct mistakes in their mind by imagining performing correctly. If you do this and keep replaying the correct image, you are training your brain to perform correctly.
Instead of beating yourself up, imagine performing your thoughts and actions correctly (over and over and over again) — training your brain and body to do what you would like to do and how to do it the next time.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Monday, October 29, 2007
Get comfortable being uncomfortable
If you want to improve your life, athletic performance, leadership or sales please consider…
Get comfortable being uncomfortable ...
If you are always comfortable, you are probably stagnant. Your comfort zone is where you are competent and use to being. Your comfort zone is where you get your current results. If you want different results, new or better results, you have to get out of your comfort zone and do something different.
Would it make sense for an athlete to be comfortable while strength training? Of course not! How do you get stronger unless you work your muscles until they begin to hurt?
This week, what if you did something out of your comfort zone … it will take courage … you will experience both excitement and fear. You will feel very alive. What if you did something out of your comfort zone every week … how big would your comfort zone become? Pretty soon, those things you did that use to be courageous acts, are now in your comfort zone and you are confident doing them. Remember your firsts, first kiss, first big win, first sale, first mortgage. How did your feel with these experiences?
When I was teaching my daughter to cross country ski, she proudly said, “Daddy, I haven’t fallen” (she had walked on her skies about 10 feet in 10 minutes). I said, “I’m sorry, I need to teach you how to go faster, it’s much more fun and you will fall once in a while learning, and that’s a good thing.” So, I taught her how to go faster and she fell many times that day, but ended up cruising along on her skis having a blast by the end of the day.
Personally, being outside of my comfort zone is where I feel most alive and energized … please consider, “Get comfortable being uncomfortable”.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
www.courageandconfidence.com
Get comfortable being uncomfortable ...
If you are always comfortable, you are probably stagnant. Your comfort zone is where you are competent and use to being. Your comfort zone is where you get your current results. If you want different results, new or better results, you have to get out of your comfort zone and do something different.
Would it make sense for an athlete to be comfortable while strength training? Of course not! How do you get stronger unless you work your muscles until they begin to hurt?
This week, what if you did something out of your comfort zone … it will take courage … you will experience both excitement and fear. You will feel very alive. What if you did something out of your comfort zone every week … how big would your comfort zone become? Pretty soon, those things you did that use to be courageous acts, are now in your comfort zone and you are confident doing them. Remember your firsts, first kiss, first big win, first sale, first mortgage. How did your feel with these experiences?
When I was teaching my daughter to cross country ski, she proudly said, “Daddy, I haven’t fallen” (she had walked on her skies about 10 feet in 10 minutes). I said, “I’m sorry, I need to teach you how to go faster, it’s much more fun and you will fall once in a while learning, and that’s a good thing.” So, I taught her how to go faster and she fell many times that day, but ended up cruising along on her skis having a blast by the end of the day.
Personally, being outside of my comfort zone is where I feel most alive and energized … please consider, “Get comfortable being uncomfortable”.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
www.courageandconfidence.com
Monday, October 15, 2007
The starting point of change
If your want more courage, confidence and success, begin by accepting full responsibility for your life, just as it is, no excuses, no finger pointing, no complaining. With acceptance as your starting point, you can improve your life.
This acceptance of what is frees your energy to improve your life. Your brain is like a computer with different operating systems competing to take control the computing system. You have a confident neuronetwork (operating system) and a fearful neuronetwork (operating system). To be more confident, especially under pressure, strengthen your confident neuronetwork and weaken your fearful one.
There are specific brain training techniques that will help you strengthen your confidence and weaken your fears. One world-class athlete who had a very strong fearful neuronetwork, got so anxious at a world championship he almost committed suicide.
The next year, after working on strengthening his confident and weakening his fearful neuronetwork, he competed very successfully at the world championships.
The beginning of improving your life, is beginning with full-responsibility and acceptance of it now.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
This acceptance of what is frees your energy to improve your life. Your brain is like a computer with different operating systems competing to take control the computing system. You have a confident neuronetwork (operating system) and a fearful neuronetwork (operating system). To be more confident, especially under pressure, strengthen your confident neuronetwork and weaken your fearful one.
There are specific brain training techniques that will help you strengthen your confidence and weaken your fears. One world-class athlete who had a very strong fearful neuronetwork, got so anxious at a world championship he almost committed suicide.
The next year, after working on strengthening his confident and weakening his fearful neuronetwork, he competed very successfully at the world championships.
The beginning of improving your life, is beginning with full-responsibility and acceptance of it now.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
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