The Stockdale Paradox
Face the most brutal facts of your current reality.
And retain faith that you will prevail in the endgame.
This is Admiral Jim Stockdale's philosophy. He was the highest-ranking U.S. prisoner of war at the "Hanoi Hilton" in Vietnam from 1965 to 1973. As the highest-ranking officer in the prison, he had no rights or release date; he was severely tortured over 20 times and he didn't know if he'd see his wife and children again.
When asked how he survived all those years, he said, "I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade." He noted that soldiers who were optimistic about being out by a certain date (e.g., "I'll be out by Christmas") dropped like flies when it didn't happen. Only those who believed in the endgame kept hope - and themselves - alive.
Admiral Stockdale was a great leader who helped many of his men live through imprisonment. Accepting and analyzing all the facts, including the brutal ones, and having faith in prevailing in the endgame, even when you don't initially know how, are defining characteristics of great entrepreneurs, salespeople and athletes as well as admirals.
Are you focused on the endgame?
The Stockdale Paradox comes from the book "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. The full story is on Pages 83-87.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Friday, December 21, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Your past is history.
Your future depends on how you live in the present.
The present is where your personal power is strongest.
Imagine you're a professional football running back. The quarterback gives you the handoff to run straight ahead. Your heart is racing as the defensive players zero in on you. You begin wondering, Will I get hurt? There are 11 fast, strong giants who get paid to hit me as hard as they can...
Will this fearful thought make you hesitate? If you hesitate after getting the handoff, what's your chance of having a successful play? Much less. What's your chance of being injured? Much greater.
For over 20 years, I have collected information from thousands of people on the characteristics of being their best. All groups (entrepreneurs, executives, sales professionals and athletes) state that being in the flow state - the state during which each of us is at our best - includes being relaxed, confident and in the present.
Fearing the future takes you out of the present, because you're thinking about the future. A running back has his best chance at a successful run by being relaxed, confident and completely present.
Are you in the flow state?
What would you be like if you lived each
moment relaxed, confident and in the present?
"One instant is eternity; eternity is the now.
When you see through this one instant,
you see through the one who sees."
- Wu-Men (1183-1260)
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Your future depends on how you live in the present.
The present is where your personal power is strongest.
Imagine you're a professional football running back. The quarterback gives you the handoff to run straight ahead. Your heart is racing as the defensive players zero in on you. You begin wondering, Will I get hurt? There are 11 fast, strong giants who get paid to hit me as hard as they can...
Will this fearful thought make you hesitate? If you hesitate after getting the handoff, what's your chance of having a successful play? Much less. What's your chance of being injured? Much greater.
For over 20 years, I have collected information from thousands of people on the characteristics of being their best. All groups (entrepreneurs, executives, sales professionals and athletes) state that being in the flow state - the state during which each of us is at our best - includes being relaxed, confident and in the present.
Fearing the future takes you out of the present, because you're thinking about the future. A running back has his best chance at a successful run by being relaxed, confident and completely present.
Are you in the flow state?
What would you be like if you lived each
moment relaxed, confident and in the present?
"One instant is eternity; eternity is the now.
When you see through this one instant,
you see through the one who sees."
- Wu-Men (1183-1260)
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
- Anais Nin
You're probably not confident when you have little or no experience with something, so you need courage. During graduate school, I accepted my first public speaking engagement. It was about two months away, and for those two months the thought of presenting twisted my stomach into knots and I often felt like vomiting. Most people don't realize this, but I am shy and introverted. In grade school, I never raised my hand because I was afraid of being wrong and embarrassed. So when I delivered my first presentation, I was so scared that I read my handwritten script word-for-word from a pad of yellow paper - while sitting and shaking.
This first presentation may sound like a disaster, but it was actually quite glorious. Why? Because I learned that I wouldn't die speaking to a group of people! This was a huge victory because I had the courage to go face to face with one of my greatest fears (public speaking), and as Anais Nin said above, this experience expanded my life. I have now delivered over 400 public presentations and have gained more confidence with each one. Today, I love empowering audiences with courage and confidence knowledge.
When you need courage, access your courageous self. Here are the four steps:
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Remember a time when you acted with courage and had a positive outcome.
Notice how you feel as you do this; you are now in your courageous self.
While in your courageous self, imagine doing something that is scary to you. See, hear and feel yourself as best you can, courageously going for what you want.
This process programs your brain to be courageous and helps you gain confidence in doing what you imagined. The more you do this, the stronger your courage and confidence become.
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
- Anais Nin
You're probably not confident when you have little or no experience with something, so you need courage. During graduate school, I accepted my first public speaking engagement. It was about two months away, and for those two months the thought of presenting twisted my stomach into knots and I often felt like vomiting. Most people don't realize this, but I am shy and introverted. In grade school, I never raised my hand because I was afraid of being wrong and embarrassed. So when I delivered my first presentation, I was so scared that I read my handwritten script word-for-word from a pad of yellow paper - while sitting and shaking.
This first presentation may sound like a disaster, but it was actually quite glorious. Why? Because I learned that I wouldn't die speaking to a group of people! This was a huge victory because I had the courage to go face to face with one of my greatest fears (public speaking), and as Anais Nin said above, this experience expanded my life. I have now delivered over 400 public presentations and have gained more confidence with each one. Today, I love empowering audiences with courage and confidence knowledge.
When you need courage, access your courageous self. Here are the four steps:
Breathe slowly and deeply.
Remember a time when you acted with courage and had a positive outcome.
Notice how you feel as you do this; you are now in your courageous self.
While in your courageous self, imagine doing something that is scary to you. See, hear and feel yourself as best you can, courageously going for what you want.
This process programs your brain to be courageous and helps you gain confidence in doing what you imagined. The more you do this, the stronger your courage and confidence become.
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience
can never go back to its old dimensions."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Fire (Passion) is Your Fuel for Success
Your Fire Is Your Fuel
Last week’s EnCOURAGEment was about Ingrid, an entrepreneur who found her fire and focus and was unstoppable in creating a successful company. Here’s another story about how strong fire can be, even for a child.
A few summers ago, my 11-year old daughter, Chelsea, and I were boogie boarding, which was her favorite thing in the whole world. The waves were fairly big, so I was helping by pushing her up on them. She was having a blast, catching wave after wave. But as she rode the waves to shore, I could see the front of her board going back and forth.
When we dragged our exhausted bodies to the beach, I asked, “Chelsea, why was the front of your board going back and forth on your way to shore?” She said, “Because, Daddy, every time you pushed me, you were pushing my bathing suit up and giving me a wedgie up to my neck. So I was pulling out the wedgie!” When I asked her why she didn’t tell me, she said, “Because I didn’t want you to stop pushing me.”
Now that’s fire! Nothing, including a wedgie up to her neck, would stop that girl from boogie boarding.
Your fire is your fuel. Are you doing things you love so much that you’d put up with a wedgie to do them?
“There is no passion to be found playing small
in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
— Nelson Mandela
Last week’s EnCOURAGEment was about Ingrid, an entrepreneur who found her fire and focus and was unstoppable in creating a successful company. Here’s another story about how strong fire can be, even for a child.
A few summers ago, my 11-year old daughter, Chelsea, and I were boogie boarding, which was her favorite thing in the whole world. The waves were fairly big, so I was helping by pushing her up on them. She was having a blast, catching wave after wave. But as she rode the waves to shore, I could see the front of her board going back and forth.
When we dragged our exhausted bodies to the beach, I asked, “Chelsea, why was the front of your board going back and forth on your way to shore?” She said, “Because, Daddy, every time you pushed me, you were pushing my bathing suit up and giving me a wedgie up to my neck. So I was pulling out the wedgie!” When I asked her why she didn’t tell me, she said, “Because I didn’t want you to stop pushing me.”
Now that’s fire! Nothing, including a wedgie up to her neck, would stop that girl from boogie boarding.
Your fire is your fuel. Are you doing things you love so much that you’d put up with a wedgie to do them?
“There is no passion to be found playing small
in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
— Nelson Mandela
Be Unstoppable
Fire + Focus = Unstoppable
Here’s a story about one of the best small entrepreneurs I know; let’s call her Ingrid. Ingrid was a teacher and a single mom who had no training in business or interior design. Her friends owned a small interior design firm, so Ingrid asked to work for them because she had fire (passion) to become an interior designer. The company was struggling financially, so she volunteered to be the receptionist and learn interior design (she had the courage to focus on what she loved).
Because of her fire and focus, she learned interior design quickly and soon became a paid designer. Within a few years, she had become a talented, confident designer and purchased the struggling company from her friends. Over the next 20+ years, her firm became one of the premier interior design firms in the world (in its niche). Ingrid is now very confident, and her success has been Unstoppable because of her Fire + Focus.
Find your Fire and then Focus on it … and you will be Unstoppable.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Here’s a story about one of the best small entrepreneurs I know; let’s call her Ingrid. Ingrid was a teacher and a single mom who had no training in business or interior design. Her friends owned a small interior design firm, so Ingrid asked to work for them because she had fire (passion) to become an interior designer. The company was struggling financially, so she volunteered to be the receptionist and learn interior design (she had the courage to focus on what she loved).
Because of her fire and focus, she learned interior design quickly and soon became a paid designer. Within a few years, she had become a talented, confident designer and purchased the struggling company from her friends. Over the next 20+ years, her firm became one of the premier interior design firms in the world (in its niche). Ingrid is now very confident, and her success has been Unstoppable because of her Fire + Focus.
Find your Fire and then Focus on it … and you will be Unstoppable.
TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
My negative world ...
"The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts ... .
The content of your character is your choice."
Heraclitus
This is the second EnCOURAGEment on defining moments (a time when you made a life-changing decision). This week, let's examine defining moments when you had the choice to stay the same, or become more of who you want to be.
I am generally a very positive and happy person, but this wasn't always true. In my twenties, a girlfriend broke up with me by saying, "I can't live in your world of negativity anymore." As I reflected on her statement, there was a painful realization that she was right. I had a choice: Do I continue on as I was, or do I have the courage to become a more positive person? I chose the latter. I even took a humor workshop to learn to laugh because I laughed so little that it was uncomfortable! I will always be thankful for my ex-girlfriend. She gave me a defining moment, a gift. Almost 30 years later, I am a positive person, laugh a lot and ... I work daily to be more positive.
Would you like to be different in some way? If yes ...
Have the courage to be honest with yourself, review your defining moments.
If your previous choice(s) is not helping you be who you want to be,
be courageous, make a new decision ...
then work every day to become who you want to be.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
The content of your character is your choice."
Heraclitus
This is the second EnCOURAGEment on defining moments (a time when you made a life-changing decision). This week, let's examine defining moments when you had the choice to stay the same, or become more of who you want to be.
I am generally a very positive and happy person, but this wasn't always true. In my twenties, a girlfriend broke up with me by saying, "I can't live in your world of negativity anymore." As I reflected on her statement, there was a painful realization that she was right. I had a choice: Do I continue on as I was, or do I have the courage to become a more positive person? I chose the latter. I even took a humor workshop to learn to laugh because I laughed so little that it was uncomfortable! I will always be thankful for my ex-girlfriend. She gave me a defining moment, a gift. Almost 30 years later, I am a positive person, laugh a lot and ... I work daily to be more positive.
Would you like to be different in some way? If yes ...
Have the courage to be honest with yourself, review your defining moments.
If your previous choice(s) is not helping you be who you want to be,
be courageous, make a new decision ...
then work every day to become who you want to be.
- TC North, Ph.D., High Performance Expert
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Courage to be Who You Are!
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
E.E. Cummings
We’ve all had defining moments in life (a time when we made a life-changing decision). This and the next EnCOURAGEment message examine two types of defining moments. This week’s is having the courage to become who you really are, and next week’s is having the courage to become more of who you want to be.
In the small town where I grew up, most guys hunted. When I was about 12 years old, I was walking in the woods mindlessly shooting chipmunks with my BB gun when a bird began chirping really loudly at me. I walked closer, thinking the bird would fly away. But it sat on a branch and chirped more loudly. I thought, If you are dumb enough to stay there and chirp at me, I’m gonna shoot you. I raised my gun, it chirped, aimed, it chirped, squeezed the trigger … the bird dropped straight from the tree and hit the ground with a thud.
As I looked at it lying motionless and silent, I thought, That’ll teach you! Then, I heard the faint sounds of baby birds coming from the nest, where the bird had been. When I realized I had killed a parent protecting its babies, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I decided then that I would never shoot another gun or hurt another animal — and I haven’t. This was a defining moment for me. All my friends had guns and shot animals, which made me an outcast at times. It took courage to be different, but it was who I really am. I am an animal lover, and I have never regretted the decision to never hurt an animal again!
Defining moments … are the life-changing decisions you have made.
Are yours really who you are in your deepest self?
E.E. Cummings
We’ve all had defining moments in life (a time when we made a life-changing decision). This and the next EnCOURAGEment message examine two types of defining moments. This week’s is having the courage to become who you really are, and next week’s is having the courage to become more of who you want to be.
In the small town where I grew up, most guys hunted. When I was about 12 years old, I was walking in the woods mindlessly shooting chipmunks with my BB gun when a bird began chirping really loudly at me. I walked closer, thinking the bird would fly away. But it sat on a branch and chirped more loudly. I thought, If you are dumb enough to stay there and chirp at me, I’m gonna shoot you. I raised my gun, it chirped, aimed, it chirped, squeezed the trigger … the bird dropped straight from the tree and hit the ground with a thud.
As I looked at it lying motionless and silent, I thought, That’ll teach you! Then, I heard the faint sounds of baby birds coming from the nest, where the bird had been. When I realized I had killed a parent protecting its babies, I fell to my knees and sobbed. I decided then that I would never shoot another gun or hurt another animal — and I haven’t. This was a defining moment for me. All my friends had guns and shot animals, which made me an outcast at times. It took courage to be different, but it was who I really am. I am an animal lover, and I have never regretted the decision to never hurt an animal again!
Defining moments … are the life-changing decisions you have made.
Are yours really who you are in your deepest self?
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